And so it begins...

Jenna's team had its first basketball game last night. As it turns out, she is on what is called a non-competitive league. After what I witnessed last night, I believe that this terminology is apt. I would almost say that "non-competetive" is an understatement, but as we are only one game into the season, I am trying to stay positive. After we got home, I had to watch six hours of basketball on ESPN in order to erase the memories of what I had seen. I'm feeling a little better today.

Jenna is on the "maroon" team. She and four other players complete the bench. Three kids play at a time. For some reason, there are two #4's on her team. She is one of them. Last night, the maroon team played the blue team. Rules that exist in non-competitive basketball are a little different from the rules of traditional basketball in that traveling, fouling, and double dribbling are not only not illegal, they are, evidently, encouraged. For the record, Jenna excels at each of the aforementioned three.

She has also learned a good deal about "smack talk." In the middle of the game she was seen walking up to an opposing team member and heard saying "You are going down." The opposing team member said, "What are you talking about? You don't have any points at all!" Lucky for the maroon team, technical fouls are not called either; however, we did have two timeouts for untied shoelaces.

To say that Jenna's team needs practice would be putting it rather mildly. To say that Jenna's team needs to learn what the object of the game of basketball is would probably be more accurate. I saw a lot of running, some hopping, much waving at me and a little bit of impromptu gymnastics, but very little basketball.

I must, however, give credit where credit is due. Jenna did hit the bottom of the rim and came closer than anyone else on her team to scoring a bucket. The entire maroon section of the bleachers erupted in laughter when I couldn't contain my enthusiasm and screamed:

SHE HIT THE RIM!!!!!! WITH THE BALL!!!!!

It was a rather proud moment. Unfortunately, my elation was shortlived because right after that the cleaning lady came through the gymnasium with her large cart of supplies causing Jenna to run to the opposite end of the court from the one at which her teammates were playing and say, "Hi Miss Cleaning Lady!" I'm not sure what else she said, because I was crying too hard, but it must have been a lengthy conversation because she didn't return to play for what seemed to be an excruciating amount of time.

Once she did return, she was tired. She decided to lay down fully outstretched at center court for a moment or two before she was, thankfully, benched.

Final Score: Blue Team 4, Maroon Team 0

My eyes have finally stopped bleeding and I am hoping that with the help of a fifth of rum and a coke, I can erase all of these memories. At least until Friday, when Maroon takes on Purple in a loser leave town match...

Until then...may all of your basketball be, at the very least, competitive.